


maybe in another life, everything worked out alright

by lilaclavenders



Series: but there's no bad dream to wake up from [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: All characters are technically mentioned since this is all pretty much surrounding Allura, Alludes to depersonalisation, Allura-centric, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, F/M, Lots of metaphors and stuff?, M/M, No Allurance sorry my dudes, no betas we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 07:35:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18361502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilaclavenders/pseuds/lilaclavenders
Summary: Allura had never been a simple girl, born to a legacy crafted in a time when even stars thought they were invincible, and the universe was almost new; so ancient that it was almost mythical, as great as Gods themselves. Her first lesson was that in order to truly become a leader, a great deal of sacrifice must be made for the greater good, for her people.There are infinite realities, but Allura was gifted this particular one.





	maybe in another life, everything worked out alright

**Author's Note:**

> hello i binged watched all of voltron and wow! i can't believe there are only 6 seasons!!!!!!! DO NOT ARGUE WITH ME.
> 
> please,,, lotor and allura deserved better. (much apologies for the lack of hunk, pidge and coran introspection. i shall rectify that in the future.)
> 
> song title from: i still have me - CYN

Allura had never been a simple girl, born to a legacy crafted in a time when even stars thought they were invincible, and the universe was almost new; so ancient that it was almost mythical, as great as Gods themselves. Her first lesson was that in order to truly become a leader, a great deal of sacrifice must be made for the greater good, for her people.

The opportunity to wander down the same path her ancestors walked was lost forever. The remains of Altea’s civilisation melded into the chaos of the planet itself, as if it had always been there, bones and branches intertwined into one as a defence mechanism that protected the scarce remains of her legacy. Her crown had meant something once - _it really did_ \- just like the old castle back when there was a kingdom to overlook. Altea was so long ago that some days Allura thought it might’ve been a dream, but seeing her father’s closest advisor (and dearest friend) on a daily basis sharply reminded her otherwise.

 

* * *

 

 

Of course, where there’s death, there’s birth. So she made a decision with logic, and not the heart, to set her sights onto the universe instead. As vast as it was, the foundation of planets and civilisations couldn’t save itself from the damage of tyranny and war. Sure, she was royalty, but the universe bowed down to no one; moving on was the only way to adapt.

But _sweet_ , _darling_ Allura had nothing but time when she didn’t want it, having been asleep for years _and years and years_. Then she had no time to spare when saving the universe. Life was kind, and gave her the opportunity to kill her father’s murderer, and not her father’s brethren, who had died before the war begun.

All stars eventually burned out into nothingness, the damage inflicted eventually folded unto themselves, and the line between regrets and ambitions blurred into an inescapable gravity. A relentless pursuit to hold the universe in both hands will never be quenched, and when he realised this, Zarkon gave in, no longer on the same side as his Lion.

Even in the face of victory, Allura still felt as if she were burrowing deeper into her slumber.

The Black Paladin disappeared, scattered in the winds of a supernova, as if he was a dream. Perhaps it was foolish of her to rely on such a broken man to fix her when he couldn’t quite fix himself either. 

 _A shooting star isn’t actually a star_ , Hunk had told her once, with a lighthearted chuckle, _it’s just a rock. But don’t they look just as beautiful as stars?_

Sometimes, things don’t always work out. Shiro never came back, and shooting stars were simply rocks that recklessly burned until there was nothing left to salvage. _A few seconds of bright light, and for what?_

( _“You know, Allura, there are times where I wished I stayed home. My body wouldn’t be able to cope with my ambitions… But at least I would’ve been safe and happier. Sure, I would’ve had a few more regrets, but they would never be as big as the regret I have now.”_ )

It was only during the time when the empire began to fall that Allura began to stir, because a star had been born in Zarkon’s place. Any solar system couldn’t help but revolve around such dazzling light, enticed by an utterly charismatic gravity.

Before she knew it, Allura found herself orbiting him. _Him_ , made from the reminder of stars and love, and their lack of inherent morality. The experience was akin to looking into a mirror, into the eyes of another who had nothing but a kingdom in ruins.

Lotor had never seen Altea the way Allura did, and had to rely on his imagination to fill in the blanks, similar to how he tried to imagine if his parents ever loved him. The light from distant stars had always been something bittersweet to him, as all he ever wanted was to live in the past, before his father ever struck Alfor with his sword, before Honerva stopped being his mother, and became pure quintessence in the shape of her body. As far as he was concerned, his parents died a long time ago.

Allura was a living testament to Altean legends, the ones Lotor secretly read about when he was young. Her manner and grace were mere paint strokes of a masterpiece frozen in time, where peace prospered in the hands of a benevolent and curious king, who was a father first and a ruler second. He quietly indulged himself in fantasies, where he too was a part those legends, and lived with a boundless curiosity only found in an Altean. But they were born in this reality, and not within the boundless, hopeful naïvety of Allura’s daydreams or Lotor’s heartache, so maybe he was destined to step into the role of his father’s son. Stars had never been invincible, so the cycle continued.

He was desperate, so caught up in trying not to be like his father that he did exactly that. Who else could have dirtied their hands in such a way? There was something not quite right about the new colony. An Altea built with the blood and bones of its own people; perhaps victory may very well have been death. Whether it was nature or nurture, it was impossible for Lotor to ignore his Galran heritage in favour for his Altean blood.

 _(“I am nothing like my father, Allura. I thought you of all people would’ve understood that.”_ )

It was funny in a way; he’d never been so disgusted at being compared to his father, after years of trying to gain his approval. So, yes, sometimes life was kind.

A dying star’s gravity had often been mistaken for weakness, but it was only the step before a supernova, the brightest thing in the universe for just a moment.

_My feelings for you are true._

Just like that. He was gone, more quintessence than reality. In hindsight, Allura should’ve stopped wishing on stars, of any and all kinds, by wishing upon the ever expanding vastness of space instead, the only constant she found.

 

* * *

 

 

There were times when life was kind enough to let her breathe. In those moments, she observed the Paladins. They were practically four children, born in a corner of the universe that never mourned the loss of such a harmonious era, or seen the deaths of planets as brutal as the self-destructive manner of stars. In a way, humans reminded her of shooting stars, with a short lifespan and a tendency to think their problems bigger than they actually were in the grand scheme of things. Yet, sometimes it was nice to indulge, to feel bigger than a droplet in the endless sea of a universe for a second.

It was endearing- _amusing, even_ -to have watched two boys dance around each other, like a moon and his Earth, never quite touching but well within each other’s gravity to stay close. Their meetings were as brief and intense as the spring equinox, and eventually grew as the days got longer.

Apparently, because it was human nature to make things more difficult than they should be, Keith had a habit of attempting to disappear without leaving anything behind. However, with such a volatile presence, he left a hurricane of a mess wherever he went, of begrudging sentimentality and other typical human qualities.

It was an unfortunate combination: a boy with abandonment issues falling in love with a boy who’d never known loss. A planet and his moon met during an eclipse-

_(“You’re not changing your mind, are you?”_

_“I’m saving the world too, Lance! The Blade is the only thing that ties me to who I am-”_

_“What do you mean, the only thing? Who the hell is gonna pilot the Black Lion?”_

_“You’ve piloted red fine all this time.”_

_“Keith, that’s not what I meant! Do you really expect me to be waiting for you to come back?”_

_“I know you will.”_

_“God… when did you become so arrogant?”_

_“Lance, I-“_

_“What?!”_

_“Nothing you don’t already know. I’ll- uh- See you later, Lance.”)_

The moon had always waxed and waned, it was just the way things were. If his Earth were to tell him to slow down, the stubborn moon would do no such thing. It was inevitable; the way the ocean’s waves crashed violently whenever the moon rose, and the way Lance’s heartbeat spiralled out of control, enraged by the thought of the boy who could’ve easily led him astray. But melodramatic, romantic Lance, with all of his heart, would’ve gladly followed Keith wherever he went. Lance was never one to consider the science behind certain phenomena, and didn’t realise that although the moon was in a constant state of change, he always orbited the Earth.

 _They say with each orbit the moon makes around the Earth, it slowly drifts away_ , Pidge absently told Allura once. _Though it won’t matter because no human would ever live to see it disappear- Besides, it’s just a theory._

But Earth was still far too young, wasn’t mature enough to realise that in the end, life was kind. Lotor became exactly like his father, Shiro finally escaped whatever hell he was living in, Lance found someone who loved him, and Allura-

Allura wasn’t sure if she was glad to have survived it all.

In due time, Keith came back, as all moons do, with tales of visions, a mother and more scars than before. He didn’t have a knack for subtlety, having lacked social interaction in his younger years, and often stared at Allura as if he was in a constant state of solemnity and reluctant acceptance, as if he had gone through all seven stages of grief in the past couple of years.

( _“Do you think we could change her future? I can’t just sit here knowing how she’ll die without trying to prevent it!”_

_“We can’t.”_

_“My last order was to take care of her, Keith! I watched her grow up- I’ll have nothing left.”_

_“She’s all grown up, Coran; she can take care of herself and… make her own choices.”_

_“So… this is her choice.”)_

Humans were definitely the strangest, contradictory creatures Allura had the experience of getting to know. A man whose kindness saw the cruellest of punishments; an orphan who pushed away others to protect them; a careless, confident boy who cared too much about what people thought; a coward who tried to save everyone else before himself; and a sister with a heart as big as her brain, yet her small body contained both just fine.

And Allura? She was tired.

She had only visited Earth once, since the Paladins still had their planet even if Allura did not. She was unable to adjust to it. She quietly fell into the unavoidable habit of comparing young Earth to Altea, with a dull and half-hearted bitterness. Earth was busy, motivated by the deep sense of urgency that came with its inexperience in galactic warfare, and the bustle of human perseverance. She wondered, _is that what it felt like to fight for your people?_ She wasn't as self-flagellant as she was when she first emerged from her cryo-pod, but she still harboured a hefty dose of survivor's guilt. 

Then she felt as if she were in a constant state of flight or fight once more, and forced her body to move under auto-pilot as she protected herself in hibernation. She believed her sole purpose was to save the universe, even if it meant she fought her own. She had no time to think about the moral implications behind her actions, and humans always made time pass quicker than it should. Allura finally understood the method behind Lotor's madness; it was impossible to always do right without having to sacrifice something along the way. The universe was just there, and provided nothing to shield her naïvety in the face of war. Drastic problems required drastic solutions.

 

* * *

 

 

In time, she eventually learned, just as her father did, that life was kind, and it finally let her rest under the guise of saving the universe, allowing her to make her first move as the Queen of her people. She had been asleep for the past ten-thousand years or so, but she’s finally wakes up just in time to truly see that her job was never to rule, but to serve. A ruler must sacrifice for the greater good of her people.

In a way, she followed the same path as her predecessors did. Allura simply runs towards quintessence in the shape of her father, carrying out the vision her _almost_ never got quite right. The smell of Juniberry flowers fills her lungs, and everything unravels, as weight of the world slides off her shoulders.

She had plenty of time back then, but what she has now is something much more infinite.

_This is where my journey ends._


End file.
